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Ideas on how to Pick Up Chicks: A Lesbian Self-help Guide To Getting Girl-on-Girl Action | Autostraddle

Hellllloooooo ladiesss, you are lookin’ great these days. Because you can or might not know, after a few years of coming out, online dating, and basic lesbian tomfoolery,

Katrina C. risk is off of the market.

I’m sure, I’m sure, this is shocking/appalling, once we all envisioned me to lesbian bromance my personal times away inside sunkissed coasts of an endless Dinah Shore right here inside my East Coast college, but alas, these days of lesbian playerhood are not permanently, and that I need people to simply take my destination.

Namely you.




We see you over truth be told there considering acquiring that pretty brand-new option way of life haircut to attract the ladies. It can be done, and Autostraddle might help. Below are a few Dos and performn’ts for picking right on up girls, KC risk design.

(Sidenote: While Im, in reality, a health care provider of these situations as

lesbian bromance

, i will suggest that my personal help with girls be used with a grain of sodium, as offering suggestions about this kind of thing makes me feel like I’m putting on a silly leopard printing pimp cap.)

Perform’s for Obtaining Chicks:


Generate gay visual communication.

You-know-what i am speaing frankly about, bros. It is that time the place you spot a lady outside or from throughout the area. Something appears different. Perhaps this is the additional little swagger or perhaps the conspicuous thin trousers and Chuck Taylors. Perhaps you overheard the lady state “Tegan and Sara” or “Turkish petroleum wrestling.”

Perhaps she considered you first–did she? Really, review!

I am aware, this is exactly a comparatively straightforward principle, evaluating folks you find attractive,

but there’s a unique model of visual communication that continues between two ladies who like girls

. It continues hardly half the next, but that flit of eye contact can mean such. Like an understanding or an acknowledgement or membership in a (not-so) key club–a club also known as ‘lesbians.’ It really is a “you’re gay, I’m gay” kinda thing. Really initial in obtaining girls, but crucial, particularly if you’re maybe not in a specifically queer planet. Gay eye contact enables you to prevent what trouble of accidentally striking on direct girls. Unless, you know, you’re into that kind of thing.

End up being self-confident.

Does that sound cliche? It might, but that is because it’s correct.

No-one’s going to trust your online game if you do not believe in your own game (even although you’re not the gaming type)

. And confidence, to not be mistaken for cockiness or flashiness, wil attract. It’s persuading. And it is totally obvious. Severely, the person who you are speaking with is going to read down the cues, and so in case you are putting your self down or usually apologizing, she’ll think you really have reason to take action. You’re effective in one thing, we promise, so discuss that a little. And also if you should be bad at everything, know–not think–that you are precious and pleasant enough to move it well. Gamble to your talents, and you should arrive of as pleasant and worth observing.

End up being understated.

As in, you should not arrive together with your pants off (this only operates often). Yeah, you prefer her to understand you are into the girl, but there is no need to put yourself all over any individual. Often it’s enjoyable is stored speculating. Leaving somewhat aside could keep the woman guessing, which means she’s going to should consult with you a lot more.

Have a signature step.

To get this package down, you’re very first probably have to learn being positive. Determine what enables you to hunt adorable and get it done. I like to smirk and nod. My girl apparently always wink to get girls. Did you know that folks still winked? That is because they do not, so in retrospect it worked.

Generate the woman laugh/Say wonderful things.

You never also should end up being funny with this one, as ‘charmingly awkward’ often operates also. This is very convenient because shameful lesbians tend to be a plentiful types. Did you merely fall over yourself after attempting to chase a dropped cig in to the street? That is fine, make fun of it off, it seems as if you made it happen on purpose. So far as saying nice things go, that’s fairly self-explanatory. Everybody else wants to end up being complimented! Be sure to indicate it however. And make sure it isn’t too out there. “Hey, I really like that plaid clothing” is fine. “Hey, you’ve got great armpits” (it has really happened certainly to me) isn’t.


This doesn’t imply grope. This won’t mean yawn and set the arm around or inserting arms inside of pouches and keeping them cozy while I’m nonetheless right here. What this means is placing your hand on her behalf arm once you laugh or getting your own arm around the woman shoulders (no artificial yawning permitted). You don’t need to hurry this part, as success within the rest of these tips can lead to a lot more of this later. Once you learn everything I’m sayin’.

Drop Autostraddle’s title.

Autostraddle helps to make the panties fall

. The finish. Fo reals however, you can find only certain things that lesbians like to talk about. Between speaking, chuckling, adoring, breathing, battling, etc etc, we’re up to a large amount. You shouldn’t be worried to carry it, you’ll probably get various laughs.

Enter along with her buddies.

When the Spice women told this to infant homosexual KC risk over a decade ago, I got no idea exactly how relevant this could be.

Everyone learn you above provide all of them credit score rating for, and they’re always (usually?) taking care of your absolute best interest. The same goes for her. Besides, birds (gays?) of a feather get girls together, and you may inform a large number about a female by just who she’s getting together with.

Do it now.

Do not shy! Everyone’s at least only a little nervous, and besides, just what effective would it be gonna do you ever in case you are just waiting in the spot would love to be approached? What i’m saying is, some ladies are this lucky, but the majority most likely aren’t. You have to simply take effort!

Come-on bros, simply by being out you’re combating the nice fight and resisting the patriarchy an such like. etc. The tough part is already over!

The hair on your head looks great, she will entirely believe you are interesting, now venture out here and get chicks, man.

Carry outn’ts for Picking Right Up Chicks


Ask for the woman number unless you in fact imply it.

And don’t state you’ll call-back any time you will not. This is certainly just tense! There are just many instances you’ll pretend you had been in bathroom or did not hear the phone ringing or had been busy mackin’ on another lady just before eventually must pick up and state you are not interested. After all, you might hold ignoring the phone calls until they’re going away, because sometimes they go away…and they generally show up outside home. Cannot simply take this danger, you may end committing an interrobang!

Also, be intent on the reason why you might not be contacting some one right back.

We never called this one girl right back because she had a truly monotonous title, and that I believed if circumstances exercised, it could appear dumb to possess her listed on my Twitter profile. That’s where my priorities rest, seemingly, and this refers to most likely why we manage the Internet. Though it appeared entirely affordable at that time, I understand the absurdity now and should most likely offer her some form of general public apology or maybe a brainstorming program for a cool brand new nickname. My point is when you are curious, you are interested, just in case you’re not, then you definitely’re perhaps not. No big deal, just be sure you are not producing reasons so that you will don’t have to call back once you say you will.

Have a business credit.

There was clearly legitimately a place a year ago in which I imagined it may be hilarious to transport surrounding this business credit:

When I, for some reason, believed it will be just as good (if not better!) as a contacting credit. We never ever had with deploying it for either of the reasons, and is great because that crap is tacky.

Offering a small business credit with a silhouette of an attractive woman probably has not been problems for some of you, but what I’m wanting to state is ensure that is stays fun. You’ve probably a mullet, but that does not mean you need to become one–this way business isn’t always right in front. Have a great time, be fun, you are enjoyable, you look great because clothing!

Be subdued.

I am aware i simply said to do this, but now i’ll show not to. Subtlety is great, not to the level in which a girl doesn’t have idea you have in mind this lady. Flirt, end up being a tiny bit suggestive,

tell her she is cute–thereis no person who does not like being told that they’re appealing.

Bold moves are admirable whenever accomplished properly.

Just last year I became running the initial conference of my school’s Queer ladies’ Advocacy panel, and a female walked in belated. We had been making the rounds the space bringing in ourselves and stating the reason we happened to be contemplating the business. Although many ladies answered, “My name is _____, and that I’m right here because It’s my opinion in visibility/outreach/magic,” this lady introduced herself and mentioned, “i am right here because i do believe Katrina is actually lovely.”


We went out later that night.

You need to be mindful with overt statements such as this though.

As quickly as you are able to be viewed confident and outbound, you are able to be regarded as totally cray-cray.

These movements are short term attention-grabbers, maybe not an ongoing method of connection.

Utilize lines…bad types.

“Are you the water? Because I want you, now.” avoid these, everyone understands they truly are contours! And even worse down, your ex you’re speaking with know you have tried it to get other ladies before. This may maybe not, in fact, score you an invitation into anyone’s pants–it probably won’t actually score you an invitation into a conversation. Despite the point that i am writing this how-to manual on picking up females, I want to highlight the significance of that all ladies will vary! So cannot come at them with universal traces. The person who you’re seeking should-be your only intimate focus at that extremely second; flirting with someone you’re not into simply because you can do it is usually monotonous and pretty unsatisfying.

End up being as well drunk.

Why don’t we confess it: becoming some inebriated is actually temping when you are attempting to protect against that girl-on-girl anxiety. This is clear and usually enabled because of the undeniable fact that meeting additional lesbians is a thing that tends to occur in very personal configurations.

It is cool to want to sooth your nervousness, but try not to let it get too far, because that is likely to get dirty. Practically.

You can buy her a drank, however if you see you are really saying the term ‘drank’ aloud as a noun, you almost certainly have acquired one a lot of of them

.No any loves getting sloppily hit on, and you’re perhaps not producing a great very first perception by spilling your own alcohol and slurring your own words. You’ll probably feel embarrassed about this after anyhow, thus save everyone. Understand your own limits. Any time you exceed them, that is fine–there’s nothing wrong in just having per night out with buddies.

Be an asshole.

We know we are conditioned to associate someone getting playfully mean with you together getting interested, and quite often that is the situation. But sometimes it’s perhaps not. Unexpected teasing is okay, particularly if you learn the lady currently, but exorbitant usage of this will probably go embarrassingly awry.

Flaunt your own promiscuity.

I happened to be going to call this ‘Don’t end up being a ho,’ however the using that phrase felt for some reason feministly offending, and you also get the point. There’s something as said for making somewhat around the creativeness. Booty dancing in gold lame short pants doesn’t scream “date me!” But perhaps that isn’t what you’re interested in, whereby, do it now.

End up being fancy.

No bragging, no absurd lesbian bling (Really don’t know exactly what that could consist of), without insisting on paying for every person’s every little thing once they refuse repeatedly. Its uncomfortable and unattractive and sometimes a little amusing, simply not in the way that you want. You don’t need to put material circumstances around to win someone over. If you do not’re attempting to end up being an Autostraddle intern’s glucose mama, whereby we are able to most likely chat afterwards. Kidding. Typically.

Consider you are Shane.

You aren’t! Nobody is, really. Because discover the one thing:

Shane is certainly not genuine.

Yeah, chick magnets can be found, you always know thin woman with the straightened tresses as well as the eyeliner brooding within the place thinking she’s within the L keyword. She’s maybe not, and everyone understands. Besides,

becoming a lesbian user isn’t something you chose—it decides you

, so it’ll happen whether it’s supposed to be, whenever perhaps not, the player thing becomes variety of outdated anyway.

Get frustrated.

Scarcely anybody’s batting one thousand with regards to picking right on up chicks. You are constantly planning to need to be prepared to get refused, specially when all all of them lovely girls frequently always have girlfriends. Never go on it actually, specifically due to the fact’re going to be rejecting individuals as well. Whether it’s maybe not right, this may be’s not proper. There are lots of girl-on-girls out there would love to be Autostraddled, thus get-out indeed there and obtain upon it!

Photographs thanks to: The lovely and skilled Rachel Horesovsky.

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